You're So Beautiful You Made Me Forget My Pick Up Line: "Ronald Rabbit Is a Dirty Old Man" by Lawrence Block

Ronald Rabbit is a Dirty Old Man - Lawrence Block

Published 2000.


“’Hookers?’

‘Well, they get twenty, so you couldn’t call them virgins. But nice girls. One of them used to be a stewardess.’

‘What did the other one used to be?’

‘A virgin, I guess. I used to a be a virgin, come to think of it. You game, Larry?’

I said I couldn’t afford it.

[..]

‘I’ll tell you, I get very awkward going there alone. Because there’s the two of them.’

‘So?’

‘So I hate to choose between them. It’s like rejecting one of them and telling the other ‘You’re a nice kid but I’d rather fuck your roommate.’ So she’s rejected, and she sits in the other room watching the fucking television set, and the whole things puts me off stride.’

‘You’re putting me on,’

‘I just don’t like to reject people.’”

 

In “Ronald Rabbit is a Dirty Old Man” by Lawrence Block

 

Since having finished reading the book, I’ve been thinking on the best way to write about it without being crass.

 

The following is the best I could come up with. Read it at your own peril.