Pile of Unmitigated Shite: "Fifty Shades of Grey" by E. L. James
“There was a lady reading this on the train back from work. I couldn't help but comment to her, "The paper version? That's a bit brazen...I thought this was secret Kindle phenomenon?" She laughed. Moments later she flirtily replied, "I couldn't find the hard back." Stressing the word 'hard'. That made me gulp and suddenly I realised she had gained all the power with that one reply. As we approached the tunnel at Rossio, I noticed I was aroused and was feeling profusely hot. Obscuring my bulge with my back pack, I made for the on-train toilet. The automatic door took an eternity to open. I stepped inside. As I turned to close the door, I drew breath as I realised I had been followed to the toilet by the lady reading the dirty book, and what's more there was another three ladies clutching their Kindles, jostling for a feel of my bulging trousers...”
Do you think I’ve got what it takes to be an erotic writer...? Maybe I should quit my day-job.
If you're into stuff like this, you can read the full review.